


Head Above Water

by Storm (Stormyskies97)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Mentions of emotional breakdown, Thoughts of Suicide, feelings of drowning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 09:40:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16830061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormyskies97/pseuds/Storm
Summary: Based on the song by Avril Lavigne. Please do not read if these are triggers for you.





	Head Above Water

The storm was bearing down upon me. I knew I had to remain calm. I don’t want anything less and I don’t want anything more than to survive this. I imagined the windows and doors bared to keep me safe, and to keep me warm. I’m fighting for my life in a raging sea. I can’t part the sea to reach shore with the shackles weighing my down. My voice is the driving force to save me, to be my only hope to not be pulled overboard and pulled down below. 

_ God, keep my head above water. Don’t let me drown, it get harder. I’ll meet you there at the altar, as I fall down to my knees. Don't let me drown, drown, drown _ _   
_ _ Don't let me, don't let me, don't let me drown.  _

I’ve gotta pull myself up from down below, cause I’m underneath the undertow. I can feel the shackles being weighed down with cement as I’m pulled lower into the freezing depths of the water. 

_ Come dry me off and hold me close _ .  _ I need you now, I need you most _ . 

The tears filled my eyes as I thought of him not being here, the only person to ever keep me grounded, to keep me afloat in the never ending sea of sorrow I would drown in. Why wasn’t he here now?

_ God, keep my head above water. Don’t let me drown, it get harder. I’ll meet you there at the altar, as I fall down to my knees. Don't let me drown, drown, drown _ _   
_ _ Don't let me, don't let me, don't let me drown.  _

_ Don't let me drown, drown, drown. And keep my head above water, above water.  _

I can’t see through this stormy weather of my life, I can’t seem to keep it all together like everyone else. I can’t swim this ocean forever and, I can’t breath. My chest is hurting from the fear and anxiety. My lungs filling with water. 

_ God, keep my head above water _ _   
_ _ I lose my breath at the bottom _ _   
_ _ Come rescue me, I'll be waiting _ _   
_ __ I'm too young to fall asleep

The pills are tempting, so is the blade but I have to hold on just a little longer. Help will be here soon. I can fight a little longer. 

_ So God, keep my head above water _ _   
_ _ Don't let me drown, it gets harder _ _   
_ _ I'll meet you there at the altar _ _   
_ _ As I fall down to my knees _ __   
  


I was curled up on the floor bundled in the blanket he had given me. The windows and the shutters on the outside were being ravaged by the wind and rain, maybe that was just inside my head. 

_ Don't let me drown _ _   
_ _ Don't let me drown _ _   
_ _ Don't let me drown _ _   
_ __ And keep my head above water, Above water

“{Y/N}?” His voice rang out in the noise of the storm. 

I could hear his footsteps getting closer but I couldn’t move. The waves were becoming too much. Finally just as I was about to be dragged down into the darkest depths of the ocean I felt his arms around me and the sun was shining once more. 

“I’m here. It’s okay.” His voice was calm and steady. 

I looked up into his whiskey colored eyes and buried my face in his chest. “I was so scared.” I whimpered. 

“I know sugar. But, I’m here now. No more drowning. No more pain, I promise.” He kissed my head and managed to push the angry waters away and calm the storm inside. “Oh father, help me help them for what my brother has done.” He whispered in pleading manner before holding me closer against him. 

I knew I was safe now. I would no longer be struggling to break surface no matter how hard it was and the memories of what Lucifer has done could never pull me down as long as Gabriel was here. 


End file.
